Why Do They Always Want To Touch My Hair?

There has been something that has been bothering me a lot, and I feel a very strong need to address it officially in my community.

Here are some thoughts I have about “THEM”, and you know who I mean...always wanting to touch our hair.

Just a few days ago, I saw a post on Instagram of a young lady at work with two of her co-workers touching her natural hair. Their mouths were open wide in amazement while they made remarks about how they’d never seen anything like it before.

They actually had their grubby fingers in her hair while they made remarks about how weird it was and how funny it felt.

Now, I have nothing but respect for the young lady that allowed them to get in her hair like that. To each his own. It just really brought back old feelings I had about the subject.

My thoughts about “THEM” wanting to touch my hair.

When I was younger (around 19 years old) I worked at a bank office and I was the only black girl in the office. I used to wear a different hairstyle just about every other day.

You see, way back then I loved hair and I loved everything about our beautiful tresses, I loved to experiment, so I used to rock all kinds of styles.

At that time I pressed my hair so sometimes I wore my tresses in straight styles and sometimes I would braid it and roll up the braids in sponge curlers so that I could rock an afro.

Every time I changed my style, I would get the same questions from “THEM”.

“How did you do that?"

“How did you get it to stand up like that?”

“How do you make it straight when it was all big and curly yesterday?”

“How do you wash it?”

“Why is it so short today and yesterday it was long?”

“Why do you change your hairstyles all the time?”

“CAN I TOUCH IT?”

It got so annoying because no matter how many times I answered their questions, they were never satisfied with my answers.

Now...I understand the curiosity but being asked the same questions every time I changed my hairstyle, got very old and very annoying. I didn’t like or allow people to touch my hair because my tresses are a part of me. I have always treated my hair with tender loving care and I didn’t want anyone’s JUJU on my crown.

I believe our tresses are our Crown, and to touch our beautiful God-given gift that has a personality of its own is “to me” a violation.

Now...today I can SOMEWHAT give those girls I worked with a little bit of a pass because back then, there was no YouTube, no Googler, and no way to find the answers to those questions unless they asked.

But today...when I see "THEM" acting the same way they did 30 years ago and in some cases even more bold and disrespectful of our personal space...Well, I just get very irritated.

There’s nothing wrong with being curious, but there’s a respectful way to go about asking questions.

So I ask you…

Has this happened to you?

Do you find it disrespectful?

How do you handle it?

What advice would you give others when they are faced with this?

Please don’t throw eggs at me if you don’t share the same opinions as me. It’s okay for us to have different opinions.

I’d just love to hear from you about your experience and if you can offer others advice on how to handle this awkward situation, I’m sure your sisters will appreciate it.

Stay blessed and protect your crown my beautiful Sisters!